Wednesday, 14 September 2011

The Darkmoon Island Horror!

What we've been seeing as fun and games...

If you took a liking to my last post, on 'The Secret Watchers of Warcraft', wait until you get a load of this speculation to fill your boots...

Since the early days of WoW, the Darkmoon Fair has held it's monthly week-long event with no break. Set locations being Mulgore, below Thunderbluff, and Elwyn Forest, a short walk south of Stormwind. Later to breach into Outlands Terrokar Forest, just outside of Shattrath city.

You know about it, I know about it, everyone knows about it. Steadily drawing crowds, each with individual desires, since it's first appearance. With 'heralds' set out in the cities of Ironforge and Orgrimmar, spreading the word, it has managed to dodge any high status attention among the rulers of the Horde and Alliance. Like an underworld.

Years they have gone without raising an eyebrow, a suspicion. Years of planning.

In 4.3, with an official Darkmoon Faire announcement from Blizzard, the faire will be moving to an isolated and permanent zone. The Island.

Shouting how the faire is going to be revamped like never before, putting itself, themselves, in the limelight. Boasting that there will be no place like it in Azeroth. The place to go.

It is here, the sinister plot begins to unfold...

Tempting the citizens of Azeroth with more exotic goods than they could ever imagine. Cards and gems with rarities unknown. Toys, games, gadgets alongside an assortment of other items/activities in the usual Darkmoon style. A getaway. But this time, more than what was bargained for. This includes Cheap Booze in vast quantities. Drink like a dwarf they say.

Does this ring any bells anyone? Teenage summer holiday? Ibiza, Malia, Magaluf, (heck, throw Amsterdam in there) and so on. Get the picture? Now insert the Hostel films in there..

It begins when young, and old, adventurers will be offered the chance to get free ride to the new Darkmoon Island, come 4.3, from major cities. Mean, why would anyone pass up on the opportunity to get away from the 'daily grind'.

The ringmaster of the Darkmoon Faire faction, is no other than Silas Darkmoon. Standing out as an inviting front, to reflect his position, his involvement with the inner-goings-on of the organisation and the dreadful plans laid out for The Island, remains unclear.

Although, as you'd assume, he should have knowledge of any and all plans set forth, you may be wrong. Being a close friend with the King of Gnomes himself, High Tinker Gelbin Mekkatorque, there is a strong possibility that the members of the group below him have kept any clues to their true intentions hidden. Making sure their activities remain as inconspicuous as possible, with Mr.Darkmoon as a public face.

Now, before going any further. I must warn you that what I am about the reveal may be disturbing for many readers. Also that the true reason for any of the following horrors to be unleashed, is still a mystery. Behold, the Darkmoon Island: Faire of Horrors, and it's array of associates!

Burth 'The Butcher' & Stamp Thunderhorn

Known to most as Silas's Bodyguard. Known on the inside as, and to incoming victims, as 'The Butcher'. Putting in place any required Burth control. By this I mean - keep the Island's visitors quite. "Keep them quite", you say? Yes. Wouldn't want word of what was going on behind closed tents getting to the outside world, especially to any new arrivals.

Think you're escaping your fate? No chance. Not on Burth's book. Keeping anyone from talking and wandering out of the enclosure and into the out-of-bound forests, which would actually make his job a whole lot easier, there is no escape.

Now if you do fall at the easy mercy of Burth, at least compared to the rest, get ready to feel the full force of Ogre power. That's not your physical end though...

...Stamp Thunderhorn. Serving the finest food and supplements around, for new visitors. What's his secret recipe? Well, that is a secret. You are what you eat.

A pair of brutes and bruisers at the best of times, these just scrape the surface of what lies in store for the visitors which survive their first day on the Island. Those who don't, are indeed the lucky ones. That's not even mentioning their involvement in - The Deathmatch. For you wouldn't want to meet the other members of the Faire.

Gelvas Grimegate

On a mission of his own. Emotion. Feeling. Mercy. All qualities this green skin lacks. Stereotypical in his ways, only batting an eyelid at any potential money making scheme. Pure ignorance, as he shows no care to how he gets his gold. But that's not to say he doesn't play a part in the faires, dastardly, workings.

Gambling is his usual method. Though he, isn't the one betting. Attracting unsuspecting victims with uneven odds tilted to an instant win. Which, of course, wouldn't work out in his favour.. If those who placed bets ever received their 'winnings' that of course. So to say if they ever come back at all.

Suprinsingly, other than a few disturbances here and there, he usually profits on the 'games' that his colleagues at the faire already have running. As you will soon see..

Goblin Roulette anyone?

Thaddeus & Kerri Hicks

It is with these two that the fun really begins.

Kerri Hicks. The art of seduction is her key. Her lure. With a clever use of those intoxicating substances, which pose as a large attraction of the event, she picks her targets one by one. Sometimes getting lucky to grab the attention of whole groups. But what is she leading them to.

Thaddeus Paleo the 'Sinister'. The craftsman behind the girl. The one who makes this pair as devilish as it is. Not to say Miss.Hicks doesn't play her part.

Working together, in an alternate universe to there own, they create grand showcases for the masses attending the faire. Showcases, which the innocent viewers could never see in the way the participants do.

Using those they have captured and placing them in brutal circumstances. We start with the deathmatch. The one Burth and Stamp love to lend a hand, fist, or weapon in. After being sucked in by Kerri Hicks, Thaddeus forces them into 'the pit'. Not before dressing them up in rather humerous, fake looking, costumes, as to not alert watchers of the reality, and their friends identities.

Now, where would the fun be in simple fights. Other than pitting unfortunate victims against each other, an assortment of goodies and tricks are thrown in as well.

We have the Steam Tonks, let loose in the arena, who are controlled by the audience! Having those little dangers are the least of the competitors worries. With a large selection of wild beasts to be thrown into the chaos, it starts to get messy. From crocodiles, to the Devilsaurs of the Un'goro crater.

Last but not least, the aim of the match. Get your opponent into the cannon. The Blastenheimer 5000 to be exact. Bringing an explosive end to the audience, and those unsuccessful participants.

The Sayge & The Innocent One

The mysteries of the fair lie with this peculiar Gnoll. Promising to reveal your future for a few gold, which makes it's way to Gelvas, and allowing the Sayge to get into your mind and soul.

Brain washed into believing anything that the witch-like Gnoll enlightens you to, a curse is placed unknowingly. A curse to inflict the most unbearable events possible for each individual consumer. This is achieved through the use of mystical Darkmoon, collectors, cards.

However, it's not until after the meeting that the madness and culling begins.

We have young Flick. Appearing as a lost young soul wandering the faire grounds during the day. That is until night falls, and the light is dimmed. Another form emerges.

During the night the sayge invades the mind and leaves those, who had their fortunes foretold, mentally weakened. The Sayge begins to torment.

Then, for a moment, leaving the victims mind unstable, a cry can be heard. One that only the target can hear, while all else slumbers. The cry of Flick.

Chasing the screams, the mind-broken run into the night. Only to meet their inevitable massacre, when Flick, controlled by the Sayge, changes into a being most feared by the victim. Live the Nightmare.

A Tragic Story of the Crazed

Meet Chronos Doarmon. The grounds keeper. Living deep within the Islands forbidden woods. It is here one of the most tragic stories unfold.

Since the birth of the Faire Chronos has lived among it's members, after being hired as a labourer. Setting up the attractions and such, he had no idea what the Darkmoon clan was really planning.

His Daughter Selina, was born just before the announcement of The Island. After which, his wife was mysteriously found dead the night before departing. Though something was not right with his daughter. Displaying his concern to the rest of the group, they allowed him to bring her with him. As if they knew something he didn't.

Selina, after growing up during the islands construction, began showing strange signs. Disappearing for days at a time, into the uncharted woods, she started to act quite abnormally. However, those who Chronos worked with didn't raise an eyebrow when he expressed his worries..

Then the time came, when Chronos discovered the true future of the Faire and it's haunting plans. At the same time discovering the fate of his own Daughter, Selina.

He bare witness to something that will never escape his mind. Members of the faire who he had worked with for year, stood by and watched Selina rip apart and cannibalise one of the other labourers. He then came to understand.

With a daughter burdened with such a curse, such insanity, he wanted to leave. Seek help for her. That was when the Burth and the gang put one foot out and carefully explained to him that his leaving was not an option, and would risk the entire 'operation'. Rather than to kill him and his daughter they decided to let them stay. They'd taken quite a liking to Selina's crazed lifestyle. On one condition, to remain silent.

Now you know why new arrivals vanish, so randomly. Why you should never venture out alone, especially into the woods. For Selina is roaming.. Awaiting her next brutality. Her next meal.


This one is indeed a character of his own. I can't quite work out his exact purpose or reason for being at the faire. He seems to just float around. Greeting and mingling with all who visit the Island. (Imagine a holiday Rep)

His involvement, however, with the behind the scenes work is no known. Just appearing from time to time with a joke or two and wandering between attractions. As though he is completely unaware, or ignorant, to what is happening.

Who knows, what the powers of the voodoo can muster...

The above video doesn't have an exact relevance to the post. However, after such walls of text and extreme speculation, it fits. Could you be the hero that saves us from the evils of the Darkmoon Faire?

So, what do you think? Are you going to venture to The Island?!

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- Jamin


  1. What a theory! That was a very enjoyable lunchbreak read - thank you :)

  2. @Aralosseinien

    Thanks for the comment, glad you enjoyed it :)

    - Jamin

  3. The Sayge isn't a Gnoll.....

    Interesting read though; good work!

  4. @Anonymous

    Oh, from my research (source: thought he/she/it was. What do you think it to be? XD

    Thanks for the comment,

    - Jamin

  5. I always wished the Darkmoon Fair had more significance in WoW, or at least more fun activities to give you a reason to visit. a huge over-sight on Blizzard's part imo - so this was an awesome read! :)
    I must say, I am very intrigued now, hehe...I didn't know about that island announcement either!

  6. @Syl

    I agree. Always has so much potential, which fit the games aim perfectly, just lying there!

    Ah, glad you enjoyed it! Also enlightening you to the Island in the process XD

    Thanks for dropping by,

    - Jamin

  7. Oh I just found this! What a great read! I am so behind :)


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